The Truth About Lying
All kids tell whoppers sometimes. The way you handle it can determine whether the fibs fade or become a big, fat problem.
By Sharlene K. Johnson from Parents Magazine
Evie Spengler is a born storyteller. Nabbed standing on a step stool trying to open the front door, the quick-thinking 2-year-old claimed she was really locking it. "Fiona 'unwocked' it first," she explained, insisting that the family dog had been escaping. "She has all kinds of crazy stories," says her mother, Jennifer, of La Jolla, California. "If she wants a Hello Kitty Band-Aid, she'll say she's bleeding because a big bunny kicked a ball at her. If she makes a mess, she'll blame her older sisters, even when they're at school. My husband and I can laugh about her tales in private, but we hope they're not a sign of bigger dishonesty to come."
Child-development experts used to be unsure if young children were capable of telling a lie. Sure, they could pretend, joke around, report things incorrectly. But deliberately attempt to deceive another person? Now they know what many parents already suspected: All kids do it. Victoria Talwar, Ph.D., a leading researcher on the subject at McGill University, in Montreal, says that the act of manipulating the truth for personal gain "is a developmental milestone, much like learning to get dressed by yourself or to take turns." Indeed, studies show that bright kids (who are capable of making up a story and getting others to believe it) can pick up the skill as early as age 2 or 3. And their peers catch up quickly: By age 4, Dr. Talwar says, it's game on -- all children stretch the truth at times.
Fortunately, just because your young child is a frequent fibber doesn't mean she'll grow up to be a big, fat liar. However, you do need to nip this bad habit before it becomes ingrained. Freaking out and screaming at your kid or punishing her won't discourage her -- she may simply become a better liar to avoid getting caught the next time. Instead, follow this approach at each stage of a tall tale.
